All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ~ Raymond Hull
All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. ~ Red Skelton
Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ~ Sydney J. Harris
An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. ~ Sacha Guitry
Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~ Isadora Duncan
Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives. ~ Samuel Johnson
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. ~ H. L. Mencken
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. ~ Woody Allen
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~ Marilyn Monroe
Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. ~ Jean Kerr
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. ~ John Steinbeck
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ~ Joey Adams
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~ Mignon McLaughlin
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. ~ Eddie Cantor
