T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

T-Shirt Quotes and Sayings

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

A day without sunshine is like night.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

All men are idiots And I married their king.

In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

I wear the brains in the family.

BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.

Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.

Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

This is my drinking shirt.

I can resist everything except temptation.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.

Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

Us blondes aren’t dumb.

Wasted All The Time.

Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

Blonde and proud of it.

Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.

Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

I’m with Stupid.

I don’t need no Educashun.

I’m the person your mother warned you about.

I’m not as dumb as you look..

No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.

We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.

Never kick a man unless he’s down.

There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

I wear the brains in the family.

There’s no future in time travel.

Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.

Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.

I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

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Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.

Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign.

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do-it-yourself” types.

Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.

Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.

Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they’re both on fire – they’re exactly alike.

All modern men are descended from a worm-like creature, but it shows more on some people.

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. “Women marry men with the hope they will change. “And they are both disappointed.”

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.

Friendship Quotes and Sayings

Friendship Quotes and Sayings

Friendship is love without his wings!
- Lord Byron

Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

When you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.

True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

If I had to sum up friendship in one word, it would be comfort.
- Terri Guillemets

Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
- Charles Caleb Colton

Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.

Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.

What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.
- Aristotle

To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.

In my friend, I find a second self.
- Isabel Norton

Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.

Your friends are what will matter in the end.

A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.

Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.

The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.

Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.

A road to a friend’s house is never long.

I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
- Ann Richards

Count your age with friends but not with years.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

An honest answer is the sign of true friendship.

When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
- Edgar Watson Howe

Facebook Status Quotes

Facebook Status Quotes

Cleo really wishes she could but, I’m attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

Linda notices that nobody ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.

Lauren lives vicariously… through herself.

Neal is nealing the neally neal with the help of his close neal.

Liz is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Sandy really wishes she could but, My panty hose sprung a leak.

Sean is going to drink wet cement and get really stoned.

Sonia has found love in facebook. She is from Bangladesh and “vhan day vill reesh amehica”.

Claire is disturbed by abominable quadrupeds.

Sara couldn’t myself have better it said.

James is for external use only. See your doctor before administering.

Erick is a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I’m perfect.

Jay feels ashamed of his smoking but it’s better that I smoke this and let the dreams of the cigarette workers come true then to be selfish & worry about my lungs.

Jack will update his Facebook status for money!

Ruby says it’s been a business doing pleasure with you.

Ian just found out that they took the word “gullible” out of the dictionary!

James is going to borrow money from a pessimist. They don’t expect to be paid back.

Rob is wondering if he had everything, where would he keep it?

Jolene understands that hard work has a future payoff but Laziness pays off now.

I like kids, but I don’t think I could eat a whole one.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re all right now.

I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.

Who says I’m not in shape? Round’s a shape, isn’t it?

I thought I wanted a long career, turns out I just wanted cash money.

My job is definitely secure. No one else wants it.

47% of all statistics are worthless.

Sometimes I wish life had subtitles (and in a big font)!

I’m cle’a[ni.ng m'y' ke]yb36oa;rd.

James is cleaning out his medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a time.

Peter reminds you to not play stupid with me! I’m better at it.

Steven is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Steven may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Steven is right for you.

Josh thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”

Jessie took the “Are you spending too much time on Facebook” quiz and the result is “No – You should spend much more time”. Jessie shot the computer.

Sad Quotes and Sayings

Sad Quotes and Sayings

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Behind my smile is everything you’ll never understand.

For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, It might have been.

There’s nothing more depressing than having it all and still feeling sad.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

I had rather have a fool make me merry, than experience make me sad.

The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.

Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

Sadness flies away on the wings of time.
- Jean de La Fontaine

I didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.

A sad spectacle. If they be inhabited, what a scope for misery and folly. If they be not inhabited, what a waste of space.

It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen.

I don’t know if I’m getting better or just used to the pain.

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.

We ask God to forgive us for our evil thoughts and evil temper, but rarely, if ever ask Him to forgive us for our sadness.

You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. No one is really responsible to make someone else happy, no matter what most people have been taught and accept as true.

You’ll just never know…so many emotions I choose not to show.

Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.

Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most.

Dying seems less sad than having lived too little.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember and be sad.

Best Friend Quotes and Sayings

Best Friend Quotes and Sayings

One who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.

A friend is a gift one give oneself.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

Good friends are like stars…. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best of me.

- Henry Ford

The medicine of life is to have true faithful friends.

True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

A best friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself.

Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.

- Oprah Winfrey

The best mirror in the world is an old friend.

A true friend is someone you can disagree with and still remain friends.If not, they weren’t true friends in the first place.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.

True friends are very difficult to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget.

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart.

Hold a true friend with both your hands.

A friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself.

- Jim Morrison

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.

Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don’t say.

A true friend is one who thinks you are a good egg even if you are half cracked.

Thick and thin, tall and small, fast and slow. Tell me who is always there for you. I am sure you know. Your best friend, of course, don’t let him or her go

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walk out.

- Walter Winchell

A best friend shares the good times and help you out by listening during the bad times.

One’s best friend is oneself.

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

- Bernard Meltzer

Best friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.

- Elbert Hubbard

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

- Anais Nin

Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them.

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.

- John Leonard

There is nothing worth the wear of winning, but laughter and the love of friends.

Cool Love Quotes

Cool Love Quotes

The most eloquent silence; that of two mouths meeting in a kiss ~ Anonymous

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence ~ H. L. Mencken

Loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star. You know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying ~ Anonymous

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love ~ Stendhal

The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you ~ Brendan Behan

Sometimes we make love with our eyes. Sometimes we make love with our hands. Sometimes we make love with our bodies. Always we make love with our hearts ~ Anonymous

Free love? As if love is anything but free. Man has bought brains, but all the millions in the world have failed to buy love ~ Emma Goldman

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch ~ Cathy Carlyle

There is a battle that goes on between men and women. Many people call it love ~ Edvard Munch

Mumps, measles, and puppy love are terrible after twenty ~ Mignon McLaughlin

A good love is delicious, you can't get enough too soon. It makes you so crazy you want to swallow the moon ~ Venus de Milo

Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway ~ Judith Viorst

Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties ~ Jules Renard

The art of love? It's knowing how to join the temperament of a vampire with the discretion of an anemone ~ E. M. Ciorian

We had a lot in common. I loved him and he loved him ~ Shelley Winters

He must have smiled at me, though I don't really know, but I don't like to think that I would love someone who hadn't first smiled at me ~ Jamacia Kincaid

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence ~ Erich Fromm

We choose those we like; with those we love, we have no say in the matter ~ Mignon McLaughlin

Love is a game that two can play and both win ~ Eva Gabor

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

I’ve got problem for your solution…

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

It’s not cheating unless you get caught.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

There is a light at the end of every tunnel….just pray it’s not a train!.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings

Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings

She knows all about me and loves me just the same.

May she share everything with her husband, including the housework.

Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married.

It took great courage to ask a beautiful young woman to marry me. Believe me, it is easier to play the whole Petrushka on the piano.

An anniversary says, "Think of the dreams you have weathered together. They are intimate accomplishments.

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.

Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that.

Love is not singular except in syllable.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

In all of the wedding cake, hope is the sweetest of plums.

Marriage--a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

My Greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least.

please read also the other articles of Wedding Love Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

I'm Not 40 i'm 18 with 22 years experience

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.

Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can’t speak for my twin sister.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.

Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

There is still no cure for the common birthday.

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of …………. Lord-only-knows

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

Goodbye Quotes and Sayings

Goodbye Quotes and Sayings

Don’t be dismayed at good-byes. A farewell is necessary before we can meet again and meeting again, after moments or a lifetime, is certain for those who are friends.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life.

The loss of a friend is like that of a limb. Time may heal the anguish of the wound, but the loss cannot be repaired.

It is the end of something simple and the beginning of everything else.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

I’m torn between what was and what could be.

Saying goodbye isn’t the hard part, it’s what we leave behind that’s tough.

We only part to meet again.

Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had.

You never leave someone behind, you take a part of them with you and leave a part of yourself behind.

True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Why are the words goodbye, I’m sorry and I love you, so easily pronounced, but so hard to say?

A part of you has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart, maybe in distance, but not in the heart.

The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning.

The real genius for love lies not in getting into, but getting out of love.

The song is ended, but the melody lingers on.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

There is a time for departure even when there is no certain place to go.

You are the weakest link – goodbye!

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

I don’t want to wake up and realize what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes. I don’t want to stop saying hellos for fear of saying goodbyes.

When I see your smile, and I know it’s not for me, that’s when I’ll miss you.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.

Every goodbye makes the next hello closer.

How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to.

Why does it take a minute to say hello and forever to say goodbye?

You know that you are in love when the hardest thing to do is say good-bye!!

Where is the “good” in goodbye?

There are no good-byes, where ever we are, you’ll always be in my heart.

Being strong sometimes means being able to let go.

A good-bye is never painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.

Life wouldn’t be the same without you and all the memories you have givin me.

Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.

It’s all said and done, it’s real, and it’s been fun.

I can tell by your tears that you will remember it all.

Thank You Quotes and Sayings

Thank You Quotes and Sayings

How far that little candle throws his beams!So shines a good deed in a weary world.

Hem your blessings with thankfulness so they don’t unravel.

I thank everyone that has caused me to suffer, without you I would have no reason to express myself.

Gratitude is the memory of the heart.

It isn’t what you have in your pocket that makes you thankful, but what you have in your heart.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is ‘thank you’, it will be enough.

We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues.

If you can’t be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.

Just a “thank you” is a mighty powerful prayer. Says it all.

No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.

Every time we remember to say “thank you”, we experience nothing less than heaven on earth.

I would thank you from the bottom of my heart, but for you my heart has no bottom.

The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.

Thank you much more, Than a greeting can say, Because you were thoughtful, In such a nice way!

Gratitude is the best attitude. There is not a more pleasing exercise of the mind than gratitude. It is accompanied with such an inward satisfaction that the duty is sufficiently rewarded by the performance.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention.

One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind.

Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say “thank you?”

Birthday Sayings and Quotes

Birthday Sayings and Quotes Collection

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

The Young have aspirations that never come to pass, the Old have reminiscences of what never happened.

We know we’re getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.

There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un birthday presents and only one for birthday presents.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.

Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.

Youth is happy because it has the ability to see beauty. Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.

Live out of your imagination instead of out of your memory.

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

The Best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.

Funny Love Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Funny Love Quotes Sayings and Quotations Collection

Love teaches even asses to dance.
--French Proverb --

Love your enemies. It really pisses them off!

To infinite, ever present Love, all is Love,
and there is no error, no sin sickness, nor death.
--Mary Baker Eddy --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Put love first. Entertain thoughts that give life
And when a thought or resentment, or hurt, or fear
comes your way, have another thought that is more powerful
-- a thought that is love.
--Mary Manin Morrissey --

We must love one another or die
--W.H. Auden poem --

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
--Walt Disney --

Never sign a valentine with your own name.
--Charles Dickens --

Love: Two minds without a single thought.
--Philip Barry --

The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.

All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt!
--Lucy Van Pelt --

Where does the family start ? It starts with a young man
falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found.
--Sir Winston Churchill --

Platonic love is like an inactive volcano.
--Andre Pevost --

If the universe has any purpose more important than
topping a woman you love and making a baby with her
hearty help, I have never heard of it.
--Rabert A. Henlein Lazarus Long --

Christianity has done a great deal for love by making a sin of it.
--Anatole France --

It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing.
It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving.
--Mother Teresa --

He who wants to do good knocks at the gate:
he who loves finds the door open.
--Rabrindranath Tagore --

Sometimes I find myself making love to my own misfortune.
--Norma O. Abrego --

Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship--never
--Charles Caleb Colton --

Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the
imagination and bottling the common sense.
--Helen Rowland --

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
--Mother Teresa --

One advantage of marriage It seems to me
Is that when you fall out of love with him
Or he falls out of love with you
It keeps you together until maybe you fall in again.
--Judith Viorst --

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination
nor both together go to the making of genius.
Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
--Mozart --

Funny Quotes and Sayings

Funny Quotes and Sayings

A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
- Burt Bacharach

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S. Truman

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
- Mark Twain

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

I am an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.
- Gabor

ARCHITECT is One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
- Ambrose Bierce

I either Get what I want or I change my mind.
- Anonymous

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
- Roseanne

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
- George Burns

Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely.
- Anonymous

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.
- Gary Busey

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain

I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
- George Carlin

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
- Robin Williams

A difference of tastes in jokes is a great strain on the affections.
- George Eliot

I am short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
- Woody Allen

Sex was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
- Woody Allen

We need an energy bill that encourages consumption.
- George Bush

Summer Love Quotes and Sayings

Summer Love Quotes and Sayings

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. ~ David Viscott

I question not if thrushes sing
If roses load the air
Beyond my heart, I need not reach
When all is summer there. ~ John Vance Cheny

Love is to the heart what the summer is to the farmer's year - it brings to harvest all the loveliest flowers of the soul. - Author Unknown

A life without love is like a year without summer. ~ Swedish Proverb

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance. ~ Bern Williams

These are the forgeries of jealousy; And never, since the middle summer's spring, Met we on hill, in dale, forest, or mead, By paved fountain or by rushy brook, Or in the beached margent of the sea, To dance our ringlets to the whistling wind, But with thy brawls thou hast disturbed our sport. ~ William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Under the summer roses
When the flagrant crimson
Lurks in the dusk
Of the wild red leaves,
Love, with little hands,
Comes and touches you
With a thousand memories,
And asks you
Beautiful, unanswered questions. ~ Carl Sandburg